Just because I’m yawning doesn’t mean I’m bored, it means I’m tired because I got up at fucking early o’clock
Poor little guy looks like he’s saying
“You want me to leave? Okay…”
“You sure you want me to go? ‘cause I can stay…if you want…”
NO STAY, CHUBBY LIL SEAL
AW
That’s some dirty ass water….
(Source: delusionaldragqueen)
My little four year old cousin is spending the night. She brought her rock collection with her. “I like my rocks,” she said.
“
I’m going to let you into my world right now: I have to fart so I’m going to walk over here and pretend to do something that’s not farting. Don’t follow me.
| *Wakes up in the middle of the night* | |
| Me: | Please don't be 6am | *1;48am* |
| Me: | MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS TO ME! | *Shoves face back into pillow* |
Guest at someone's home
| Me: | YOUR KITCHEN CABINETS AND DRAWERS ARE WRONG. |
| Me: | WHY WOULD YOU PUT THE FORK IN THE DRAWER FARTHEST FROM THE PLATES. |
| Me: | NOW I HAVE TO WALK TO GET A FORK. |
| Me: | YOU ARE AN IDIOT. |
